Today was the last day of the 4-day long Chinese New Year holidays in Singapore. And today, I made an intriguing realization - I Do Need A Job.
If you ask me a question like "This job that you have... is this really what you want to do with your life?", I would right away say "No". Honestly, I can't seem to think of any reason why anyone would want to say "Yes" to that question if one is selling soaps and shampoos. Anyway, the point is that I see my work as just a job that pays my bills but since am a responsible individual, I do my best at work. Also, like I have written here before, this also does NOT mean that I hate my job. Am completely OK with it but I just don't see it as the entire purpose of my life or as something that I would want to do if I already have all the money in the world.
However, today I realized that my job does serve a purpose other than paying my bills. And that is to keep me sane.
Over the last four days, I found myself with a lot of spare hours even after dancing and choreographing, working on shot breakdowns and storyboards, dining out, walking around, meeting friends, reading etc. While I used some of these hours to do completely laid back activities like sleeping and watching TV, there were still way too many spare hours over four days. The end result? - I was this close to going insane with boredom.
So much so that I was quite a pain in the ass for my husband. I was an astounding example of the cliched nagging wife now and again. But, after some world class cribbing, I would remind myself that I am in pursuit of something special every single day. This would calm me down considerably and I would look for something that would keep me occupied, make me happy and help save my sanity.
Today, after yet another bout of insane boredom, I realized that I do need a job like the one that I have right now. It makes sure that I have something to do for most of the days. Also, I don't think I would want theatre and films to be my bread and butter. The pressure that brings in might spoil the whole fun after all. So this balance of what my job delivers and what I can do in my spare time is perfect. After work, when I get back to dance or theatre or films, it is very refreshing and gives me a whole lot more energy than what I would have had otherwise.
And with that realization, I feel really good! In fact, am not feeling blue to get back to work tomorrow after the holiday and that is rare! Suddenly my job is something I want rather than something I have to put up with.
909 more to go.