Day 599: The Dog. Took the DVD.

10 July, 2011

Warning: This post might be one of the most ludicrous ones in this 1000-day series but I assure you every bit of it is true.

It all started with those guys messing up my DVDs. The longer version of the story is available here but in a nutshell, we didn't have a working NTSC DVD with subtitles, which was a requirement for the film festival and which we were in a hurry to get done.

So this morning, after several attempts to make this work over Friday and Saturday, my cinematographer (who shall be called RC from here on) told me that he will be coming over to my place with a DVD that he had finally managed to get to work.

So I waited for him. And as I waited for him, I got a call from my mom.

As usual, over the call, my mom updated me about the happenings in our neighbourhood back in our hometown, the latest and the greatest from the lives of our immediate family, extended family and even people who are almost-close-to-strangers to me. As the conversation progressed, the door bell rang and I walked up to the door and opened it, expecting to see RC.

It was indeed RC, but not the usual cool, calm, stud guy that I was acquainted with, but a huffing, puffing, profusely sweating one with a horrified expression on his face.

Me: What happened? Are you OK?!

RC: (nods but gives no answer)

Mom: (on the phone) ...and then we decided to go to their place in the morning instead of evening....

Me: Are you sure? What happened?!!

RC: (gesturing that he needs water urgently but still doesn't say anything)

As RC rushed to the kitchen to get the much needed water, my mom continued to explain, what happened when she went to somebody's house in the morning instead of evening, completely oblivious of the fact that am paying no attention any longer.

RC returned from the kitchen and collapsed on the couch.

Me: Seriously, are you OK?! (almost convinced that he is having a stroke)

RC: (nodding again, with no answer)

Mom: What? (finally figuring that I was talking to someone else)

Me: Not you Amma... anyway I will talk to you later.

Mom: But... (obviously wanting to complete whatever story she was saying)

Me: RC is here.

Mom: Oh OK.... bye then!

Me; Bye!

I hang up the call and turn my full attention on RC.

Me: Dude... what happened?!!! (already sounding like a broken record by now)

RC: A dog chased me.

Me: What?

RC. A dog. Chased me.

Me: Oh Shucks! You OK? Are you hurt?

RC: I am OK.

Me: When? How?

RC: Chased me from the bus interchange until your condominium!

Me: What?! Wow! (that's seriously wow stuff because it's about 400 metres).

RC: Yeah.

Me: Well, at least you are OK... thank God!

RC: It took the DVD, Shilpa.

Me: What?

RC: The Dog. Took the DVD. Shilpa.

Me: What? (baffled pause) Oh. You are kidding. (That would have been an obvious explanation even though I failed to see the humour)

RC: NO! Your security guards saw it! The Dog. Took the DVD! (He wiggles his index finger towards imaginary security guards and then shakes his fist in agitation at the Dog).

At this point, my phone rings. I pick it up. It's mom again on the line.

Mom: I forgot to tell you something.

Me: What?

Mom: I have something for your black spots!

Me: Huh... what?!

Mom: Black spots on your face from scarred pimples? I have found a solution for it.

Me: Oh. Am kind busy here.

Mom: I will say it quickly.

Me: OK then.

RC: I tried my best to save the DVD, Shilpa. But. The Dog. (now lost in his own world of disbelief, remorse and guilt).

Mom: Just make a paste out of milk, salt, turmeric powder and lime juice and apply it and wash it off after it dries. It will work!

Me: Am sure. (an apt reply to both my mom as well as RC, as you would notice).

RC: I did try. My best.

Mom: In two weeks, it will be all gone.

Me: OK good. I will try. Bye. (hangs up the call and gets back to RC)

RC: The Dog. The DVD. The Mausams DVD.

Me: You wanna start from the beginning?

And he did. In his own words...

"As I walked out of the MRT (train), I suddenly had a feeling that maybe I forgot to bring the DVD along. So I opened my backpack and checked. I found the DVD in it, so I was just holding it in my hand for second when I saw The Dog. It was running towards me. I ran. The Dog ran. I even jumped the traffic light when it was RED. The Dog followed me also by jumping the traffic light when it was RED. I reached your condomonium. The security guards had seen me running towards them with the dog behind me, so they came out to chase it away. At this point in time, I accidentally dropped the DVD which I was holding in my hands, if you remember. I ran and hid behind the security counter as the guards tackled The Dog, with the intent of retrieving the DVD after The Dog leaves. The Dog left... but just before it did, it picked up the DVD and ran away. The Dog. Took the DVD."

Me: Wow.

RC: Your security guards saw the whole thing! (he does the wiggly-finger-shaking-fist action again).

Me: Wow.

RC: They didn't even ask me to register as a visitor because of the whole saga!

Me: Wow.

(Several minutes of complete silence as the story sinks in).

.

.

.

.


RC: I think it is your ancestor.

Me: What? (it was like my zillionth "What?" for the day)

RC: You know, ancestors come in the form of dogs and crows.

Me: Do they?

RC: They do.

Me: Oh.

RC: Yeah.

.

(Silence)

.

Me: Well, I do wish mine just came in through the window, sat on the couch and watched the film on the TV, one of the thousand times I would have played it.

RC: Yes. That could have been an option.

Me: But it wasn't.

RC. Nope.

.

As the conversation fizzled out, somewhere in the neighbourhood a dog munched on a Mausams DVD.


401 more to go.