Day 26: A Talking Husband

I like having conversations. I mean heartfelt, deep conversations about the world and human beings in general. So I have a tendency to go upto my husband and ask him "Why don't we have a chat?". Usually in all such occasions he would be watching the TV. Not that I like to bug him when he is watching TV but he is always watching TV leaving me with little choice. So this is how usually those conversations go.

Me: Why don't we have a chat?

Hubby (watching TV): Sure.

Me: Won't you switch off the TV?

Hubby (still watching TV): Sure, I will. Why don't you start first?

Me: I always start first. Why don't you start instead?

Hubby (still watching TV): Sure. What do you wanna talk about?

Me: Anything.

Hubby (still watching TV): OK.

Me (after waiting for further elaboration for about 5 minutes): Never Mind.

Hubby (still watching TV) doesn't respond because he hasn't noticed anything significant in my tone.

So then I give up and console myself that this is what 'man'kind is all about. Men cannot have conversations. They are incapable of it and there is no point in pursuing it. So I try and find a female friend online to chat with and the incident passes.

However last Friday a friend casually mentioned how she absolutely loves spending time with her husband on the balcony with a cup of chai having a "conversation". I stopped in my tracks. I verified with her whether "conversation" meant a one way dialogue from her or whether it actually included her husband opening his mouth. And she assured me that her husband in fact leads the talking and he loves it. I was stunned. Obviously my general assumption about mankind was wrong.

So I tried giving it another shot today. I took the opportunity of asking him to talk when a TV was not easily available, and that was in a restaurant. And this is pretty much how it went.

Me: So what else? Say something na!

Hubby: Tennis was good (he was refering to the game of tennis he played with friends yesterday).

Me: OK.. what else?

Hubby: You have a pimple on your chin.

Me: Oh... OK... what else?

Hubby (referring to the restaurant's menu): Their lime juice is not fresh lime juice.

Me (deciding that I had to be more specific): Well, what else is happening in your life?

Hubby: Nothing. You say.

So I did. I talked for half an hour non-stop. Initially about how hard it was to get him to say anything remotely interesting and then moved on to other topics like the plans I have for our holiday next year, about my work, plans for all the long weekends in Decemeber, recent gossips I have heard, my opinion that Jean Yip is a total rip off for a haircut and he should seriously consider taking $10 haircuts since he doesnt have much of a hairdo anyway, my frustrations in life including having to be the one who always leads a conversation and finally coming back to the point that he is really no good at some serious chatting.

When I stopped to catch my breath, he was just staring at me intently. Then I realized why I have never been seriously upset about this guy's total inability to express his feelings and opinions. I mean we have been together for 8 years after all.

Yeah, he doesn't talk. But he sure does listen. Oh well.

974 more to go.