Day 22: Library

When I first came to Singapore, I was miserable. I think I was one of the most homesick international students in the history of Singapore. I cried for several months and had great difficulty fitting in. Everything seemed wrong. Living in a room with 5 others when I never had to do that at home being an only child, having the bland dishes at the hostel which was such a gastronomic shock after the spices of India, having to survive on $200 per month which is literally what you call "peanuts", having to do physical training and sports which I hated, missing an active art club in JC which was probably my only chance of being good at something and the list can go on forever. In short, it was awful.

But there was one thing that I really liked those days and that was the library. Whether it was the then National Library at Stamford Road or the much smaller one of RJC, the libraries in Singapore were, and still are, great. They carry extensive collections and provide a good ambience. And they easily became my favourite spots in Singapore. Any free time I had at JC, I spent at the library. Most of my weekends were also spent at the libraries. I could just sit there for hours, irrespective of whether I was actually doing any quality reading or not. I used to feel that the library was one place I somehow fitted in. And it became my refuge.

Today I went to Bishan library with the aim of quickly chosing a book and going home. I chose an Orhan Pamuk in pretty much 2 minutes. Just before I left the building, I realised that there was not really much of a point reaching home early. My husband is not gonna be around anyway thanks to yet another of the infinite number of cricket matches that he prefers to watch with his friends.

So I decided to just remain in the library. I dunno why, but I did. I sat on a sofa for about 40 mins, not even pretending to read. I just sat staring into space, just like old times. And then I realized how much has changed over the past 11 years. I have not spend a minute more than I absolutely had to in a library, for several years now. Of course, getting over homesickness is one thing. But more importantly to me, I no longer felt the need to make it my refuge. And that felt good.

978 more to go.