The first one was around yoga. Here are a few facts about it, before we get into the gem itself. The hubby and I had signed up for yoga together but I turned out to be far more regular than him. In fact, the instructors at the yoga place always ask me where he has disappeared to. He does pop up at the studio once every 3-4 weeks, make a big deal about his presence there and then wouldn't turn up for another month or so.
Recently, during one of his rare visits to the yoga studio, its lead instructor and founder caught hold of him and asked his help to be part of an advertising video they were making. In fact the conversation went something like...
Instructor: It would be great if you can come and be part of it. All you need to do is demo a few postures.
Hubby: But why me? I can hardly do any posture perfectly.
Instructor: Oh that's alright. We just need people of different shapes or physique for the variety.
Hubby: Oh... and am I supposed to be of the "circular" shape?!
Even though he pushed back on it at first, he was nice enough to join the shoot and contribute his bit. FYI, I didn't join because I was out of town that day.
That was a while ago and we had forgotten all about it. Today when I went for yoga (the hubby was not present as usual), I met the same instructor and she told me that the video was finally ready. I, in turn, conveyed this message to the hubby. This is how the conversation went.
Me: Hey, that video you did for Bikram Yoga... it's ready.
Hubby: Which one?
Me: Erm.... How many videos have you done for Bikram Yoga?
Hubby: Oh.... that one.
Me: Yeah.
Hubby: And?
Me: And nothing. They have put it up in the studio and should be putting it up online soon.
Hubby: *snort*
Me: What?
Hubby: I've done it.... all. I've done it all!
Me: Huh?
Hubby: You know.....if someone asks, "Ever been on Bikram Yoga advertisement?".... I'll be like "Of course! Been there, done that" (Smug.... no wait... SUPER smug)
Me: Yeah, who would have thought? Given that you go there like once a month.
Hubby: Exactly! Even then I am the face of Bikram Yoga. (smugness rise several notches - the eyes begin to pop, the smile widens, the nose twitches, the eyebrows flicker, the ears wiggle....)
Me: Sure.
Hubby: I am Bikram Yoga! (more eye-popping, smile-widening, nose-twitching, eyebrow-flickering, ear-wiggling)
Me: Erm....
Hubby: Bikram is my middle name!
Me: Wha...
Hubby: Shivanu Bikram Shukla! (ta da ta dum doooom! drumroll!)
Me: *speechless*
That was the first incident. The second incident involved my mom-in-law as well. She had recently sported a new hairdo when she went for a party and posted a few pictures of it on Facebook. The hairdo was very evidently different from her usual styles and suited her perfectly. I quite liked it and told her so when I caught her online on chat later. She asked me to ensure that my hubby also sees the pictures when he is free.
Now here's a bit more background about the hubby. He is like the least expressive guy to have hit planet earth. For example, a typical conversation between his parents and him, about something that's exciting to regular people, like the trip to Vegas to pick up the Mausams award, would go like this....
Parents: How was the trip?!!!!!
Hubby: Good.
Parents: What did you guys do?!!!!!
Hubby: Nothing much. Picked up the award.
Parents: How was Vegas?!!!!!!!
Hubby: Nice.
Parents: How was Grand Canyon?!!!!!!
Hubby: Good.
You see what I mean? Usually around this point in the conversation, they would kindly ask him to pass the phone to me and I, in my very articulate self, would describe the entire trip without skipping a single detail.
So yes, the hubby isn't expressive. So when the mom-in-law asked me show the pictures of her new hairdo to her son, I told her that I can definitely show but I wouldn't bet on any great reaction. Mom-in-law agreed that wouldn't be any major reaction, but there still could be something, hopefully on the positive side. Both of us brainstormed on all possible reactions that the picture would elicit from the hubby and decided that "Oh...it's nice", is the best we would be able to squeeze out of him. That seemed like a reasonable hypothesis and I proceeded to test it.
When the hubby came home, I showed him one of the pictures from the party, that featured my mom-in-law and her friend's son.
Me: What do you think?
Hubby: About?
Me: The picture am showing you!
Hubby: Hmmmm....
Me: Anything you notice?
Hubby: Oh! He (the friend's son) looks like Devanand (an old Indian actor) from Guide (an old Indian movie) just before he dies in it.
Me: Uhm. OK. How does your mom look?
Hubby: (looking very closely at the picture) My mom looks like my mom.
Genius.
I called up mom-in-law:
Me: I showed the picture to your son.
She: Oh!!! And.......?
Me: First he commented on your friend's son.... (and I proceeded to repeat the old Indian movie comparisons)
She: Oh!
Me: Yeah.
She: And?
Me: And then I asked... "How does your mom look?"
She: Did he just say "Nice".
Me: Nope.
She: "Good"?
Me: Nope.
She: Oh.... something more?! (obviously one can't blame her for thinking and being very surprised at the thought that there might have been more than a "nice" or "good" this time)
Me: Erm.... (clears throat).... he said "My looks like my mom".
She: What?
Me: "My looks like my mom".
She: Oh.
Me: Yeah.
And then we burst out laughing - at having been way too optimistic about the one and only Shukla, my husband, her son.
232 more to go.
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